What are your favorite things about your life? Think for a moment about what you’re grateful for. It’s possible to feel that gratitude in each moment of the day. Imagine how it might feel to dive into life and pursue your true potential!
What do your days look like? What kind of people are in your life? What is your profession? What hobbies do you make time for?
You have the opportunity at any moment to take hold of your life in order to create the structure that works for you. This book is going to give you the tools that can help you begin to make changes in your life. You can develop your life however you want.
By practicing new skills and applying new concepts, you will find yourself coming out of your shell in new ways. You will love yourself in a way that makes you feel confident, worthy, and grateful. Learning about and applying self-compassion can revolutionize your lifestyle and help you live your very best life.
Shedding Your Doubt
Carrying around negativity and doubt adds a ton of weight to your shoulders. You’re allowed to let go and move on from any doubt you have in your life. It’s okay to be unsure and confused. That’s a natural part of life.
Now you have the opportunity to begin awareness of where you have doubts. You can practice self-awareness by doing daily introspection. How do you feel when you think about work? How do you feel when you think about the relationships in your life? How do you feel about how you spend your time?
Considering these questions and paying attention to how you feel can assist in the objective observation of your daily life and inner dialogue. Your life has many components, and doubt can fester in all of them. The time has come to acknowledge those doubts and take action to be free of them.
Self-doubt is the first thing you want to let go of. If you’re constantly doubting what you say or do, the time has come to make a change. If you lack confidence in any environment, it’s time to transform your thinking.
Your spirit and energy can be totally drained by self-doubt. Sometimes it’s difficult to realize that you’re doubting yourself, especially if self-doubt has become such a natural part of your inner dialogue that you don’t notice it.
Let’s start by identifying how you doubt yourself, and how that doubt manifests in your life.
Questions to consider:
- How often do you sacrifice your needs for what others want?
- Do you frequently apologize for things you don’t need to apologize for?
- Have you ever been called or referred to yourself as a people pleaser?
- Do you stop yourself from speaking up for yourself?
Considering these questions can help reveal any self-doubt you hold that you might not notice.
When you sacrifice your needs for others, you’re putting yourself second and neglecting your own importance. When you apologize for what you don’t need to, you’re shaming yourself and discrediting yourself unnecessarily. You don’t need to apologize for passing someone in the hallway or for asking a question.
If you find that you want everyone to like you, you might be a people pleaser. Do you go out of your way to win people over? Do you say things that contradict your values in order to gain approval of others? This is a good demonstration of self-doubt.
You’re allowed to stand tall. You’re allowed to speak your truth and be heard. The first step is to raise your self-awareness. Start noticing how much you value yourself compared to those around you. How does your self-doubt manifest in your behavior?
Self-doubt can be caused by the words you say to yourself on a daily basis. The way you see yourself and the world around you is affected by your self-talk.
When you’re walking into a nerve-wracking situation, are you calming yourself in a self-compassionate way? Or are you speaking poorly to yourself about who you are and how the future will turn out?
Telling yourself that you’re not enough will weigh heavily on you. Critical self-talk decreases motivation and increases unproductivity in all areas of your life.
If you don’t begin to change your thinking, it will be difficult to see the many possibilities in your life. If you continue to berate yourself for the way you walk, talk, or breathe, you will only dig yourself further into a hole of negativity.
So, begin by observing your behavior and actions throughout the day. Hear your self-talk and determine whether it’s positive and self-compassionate.
Negative self-talk goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt because they fuel each other. When you doubt yourself, you’re not seeing yourself as worthy. When you don’t believe you’re worthy, you will feel self-doubt.
Think about your community as a whole. Take an aerial view of it and see all of the connections in your life. Think about your barista at the coffee shop, your colleagues at work, your best friends, and any significant other you either have or will have in your life. Do you need more authentic connections in your life?
Begin pursuing the relationships you crave that will add meaning and purpose to your life.
Look at the connections you have with those around you. Do you feel motivated by the people close to you? Do you feel motivated by the people you work with? What’s most important is the quality of your relationships.
Are there relationships in your life that you doubt? Begin by getting curious about what is underneath your doubt. How do you feel? Fearful? Resentful? Misunderstood? There are certainly things you can do to improve the quality of the relationships in your life. It’s okay to crave connection. Humans are wired for that.
It’s okay to doubt any relationships. You can either choose to let those relationships go with compassion, or you can decide to commit a conscious effort to make those relationships more beneficial to you.
How to Improve Personal Relationships:
- Remain patient and compassionate. If you have a tendency to react strongly, instead, push the pause button to get back to a place of calm and compassion. Express your caring feelings by having an open mind and listening ears.
- Actively listen. When you’re having a conversation with someone close to you, be sure to give them the floor. Instead of thinking about what you want to say next, pay attention to what the person in front of you is saying. Show them that you’re listening by having open body language and validating their truth.
- Structure regular times during which you give attention to your relationships. You can go out and do an activity, make a phone call, or go get a quick coffee. The important thing is to stay in touch and reach out consistently.
- Learn from the people closest to you. Just as those in your community can learn from you, you can learn from those in your community. Whether you’re discussing your life story or learning about their line of work, there is always something to gain from those around you.
- Spend time around those who are positive and motivate you. If you’re feeling exhausted by the relationships in your life, see what you can do to liven them up. You can also put yourself out there and meet others who will bring you to new heights.
When you’re riddled with doubt, you’re probably in a pretty foggy state of mind. It isn’t easy to see clearly when your reality is tinted with insecurity and lack of confidence. This is how many people live their whole lives. You don’t have to live this way!
Your feelings of doubt likely come from your previous years of errors, shame, and confusion. It’s possible to reverse this thinking in a way that will free you from insecurity and help you focus on what is really in front of you in the moment.
Start by working on your thoughts. Do you find yourself overthinking when you’re in social situations, or after you send a text message to a love-interest? It can be difficult to slow down thoughts when they feel like they’re going a million miles per minute.
The next chapter will give you some solutions for what to do when you cannot stop overthinking things.
This book goes into more depth on the subject: